I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
