Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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