oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
