i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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