What a fucking waste of an outfit
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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