So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
