How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
