PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
