idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
