I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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