Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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