it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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