I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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