That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
