Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
