i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
