what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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