Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you would pick up someone in the library
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
