Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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