im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
