So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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