I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
