HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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