She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
