Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
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