would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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