Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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