"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
