Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
