I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize
