Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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