I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
