Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
