u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize