There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite