quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.