when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
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It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
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My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.