I'd wear matching sweaters with you
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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