When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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