So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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