I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
