When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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