Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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