I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
