Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
