omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
