clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
