Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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