i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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