you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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