It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize