he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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