It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
