i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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