If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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