His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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